I couldn’t wait to write today about the whole concept behind the new book “Go The F*** To Sleep”. While I am sure that many people who are buying this book are good and loving parents, I am extremely concerned about what this book is implying and promoting. The book is actually advocating thoughtless, mean, careless and callous parenting and abusive thought and even behavior. It is about demeaning and humiliating children. It is not funny and not cute. And though we have all, at times, felt frustrated and annoyed when our children are awake and we are wishing they were sleeping or quiet so we could have a break, should we be carrying this thought all the way through? It is irresponsible to advocate thinking of children in terms of violent, angry language. It also implies that children manipulate ( another very negative thought trend about child behavior that is always floating around) Every word we utter, every thought we have creates our reality. It is OK to have thoughts that are negative. By all means we all do and we can’t control our thoughts- they come and go often unbidden- that is normal. However we can control our actions, our expressions and we can realize that while we accept our darker thoughts and feelings, we should not act on them, and that also means not to act on them in our own minds and emotional space. Certainly we should not call them funny and publish them. Exploring the theme is fine, but not from the point of view that this is an OK way to view our children. So when we are thinking that our children should “Go The F*** To Sleep” its time for us to stop, breathe and shift. A good measure can be- is this a way we, ourselves, would want to be spoken to our thought of?
Children are our most precious resource. They are part of us and they are our future. I do not find it amusing when their personal integrity is compromised by a thoughtless and callous joke and a writer who is encouraging this sort of non responsive parenting.
If we start parenting our babies with respect and with understanding and patience, that is what they will learn. They in turn will treat themselves and others with respect, love, patience and empathy. It’s as simple as that.
Hugs from Barbara

Our human infants are meant to sleep close to their parents, not isolated and alone for long periods of time. Human babies are not yet adapted for “independence” which is the trend in our culture. When did this idea of independent infants start to become our cultural norm? That will be the subject of another blog soon. Let’s today think about why babies need to be close.  Infants are dependent for a reason. Their brains are only about 25% formed at birth. It is natural for babies to need to be close to their caregivers. While sleeping or being held close to their parent’s bodies they rouse when their parents rouse; they feel their parent’s movements and breaths. They regulate their cardio system, neuro system, respiratory system and their lymphatic system to the sounds, heartbeats, energetic expressions and touch of their mothers and fathers. Though this on the surface seems like it’s not even happening, almost imperceptibly babies are assimilating mechanisms for brain, heart, circulatory, lymphatic and gastrointestinal function and are fine tuning themselves to all of these amazing biological happenings. As much skin to skin contact as possible is optimal but most important is basic closeness. Carry your baby, hold them whenever possible, sleep next to them- even if just for naps- and certainly keep baby in the same room as you are at night if they are not actually co sleeping.
Here is a link for a great article about all this: http://www.naturalchild.org/james_mckenna/rethinking.html
Have a beautiful day!
Hugs from Barbara